Confessions of a Hot Guy Holic

[Joshuah]

Week One entries are Lavendar (9E7BFF)
Week Two entries are Sky (8EEBEC)
Week Three entries are Gold (FDD017)
Week Four entries are Maroon (800517)
Week Five entries are Sea Foam (6AFB92)
Week Six entries are Magenta(FF3D74)
Week Seven entries are White (FFFFFF)
Week Eight entries are Plum (B93B8F)
Week Nine entries are Turquoise(43C6DB)
Week Ten entries are Sienna(F87431)
Week Eleven entries will be Lime Green (41A317)
Week Twelve entries will be Firebrick. (F62817)
Week Thirteen entries will be Orchid (7D1B7E)

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[Joshuah]

(J. Welch walks into his bedroom. A massive gay orgy is going on, and one of the members has his key.)

Oh my gosh! I'm going to the Big Brother house!

Hi, my name is J. Welch, and I sell advertising or something. I get paid and I drink, it's all that matters.

My strategy is to make people love me, and then I'll have everyone wrapped around my finger. If they love me, they won't touch me!

I prefer not to backstab people, but I'll totally go all Lady MacBeth on their asses. Minus the guilty conscious and the suicide.

Starting off in this game, the hosts hinted that the HoH gets free stuff, and I fucking love free stuff. I pushed 27 people down on Black Friday and I didn't even want to buy anything, I just wanted to push people.

If it's going to affect the game later on, I NEED IT.

I also need to get myself into an alliance. Hopefully none are made yet.

Let's see how this goes!

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[Joshuah]

So, last night's HoH was fun. I got Annie's quickly. I would have gotten it quicker, but I accidentally made bisexual plural. And then i got Britney's, and the clue I got was not the actual clue. It got changed and I wasn't informed until later. It was about Britney making the Diary Room her bitch and Hayden screaming for mercy because he was getting drilled for the first time or something like that. Anyways, Lane was like "Oh fuck, I'm eliminated", and then I see the results and THE MOTHER FUCKER WON. You sly bitch, you. I tried to do the same thing, but I set it as a status as opposed to saying it directly to him. Well played, Lane. Well played. The nominations are a bit expected and safe, which is fine for week one. The twist isn't as exciting as I thought, but it'll still be fun! Hopefully I get to play in this week's PoV! I haven't secured myself in an alliance yet. I'm a bit scared to ask anyone. I think there's gotta be one already. How DARE I not be invited! I'll have to fly solo for now. See you next time, housecalls!

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[Joshuah]

So I'm talking to Annie. We get along so well, I wanted to align with her.

Then I am talking to my friend from past orgs on facebook. We're gonna date in the future, but this distance thing is separating us.

Anyways, I mentioned I'm in a new org, and he asked me who I'm playing as.

And of course, I say I'm playing as J. Welch.

And he's like "Thought So"

And I'm like "OMG YOU'RE IN IT!?"

And he was like " "

And I was like "YOU FUCKER!"

So, now we're aligned because I forced it out of him. I had no idea he was playing. I thought he quit ORGs! But yeah, he's Annie. We were going to align anyways. We were both hinting at it.

Oh, and apparently Holly doesn't really like me although I love her. Cryin IRL. Now we're discussing other alliance prospectives.

We aren't a Final Two. He said straight up he doesn't want anything to affect our relationship, so I'm thinking he's just as willing to backstab me as I am to him. (Because we'd both love to stab each other in the backside if you know what I mean )

But yeah, let's see where this goes. He's handy, for now.

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[Joshuah]

Soooo.....it's Week Two, and I have done nothing strategic. Like, week one was a breeze, and Britney left. I never secured myself an alliance, and I haven't really talked game with anyone. I feel like I'm not going to be able to advance terribly far into the game. I'll probably penetrate the jury phase until mid-way, and then get out, unless I can do something. I another week or so of easiness, but then the game gets bloody. I'm focusing on making good relationships with people. Annie and I are currently discussing who to possibly work with. The problem is, one might already exist, so if we choose the wrong person, we're done. We both really like Rod-D and Shane, but Shane is tricky because he's HoH and I don't want it to look like we're sucking up. Annie would have to talk to him for me because I just started talking to him. Annie thinks it'll be smart to wait until after nominations. I think I could word Rod-D (I'm really good at working Rods and Ds). We really get along. I even stopped watching porn to play a game with him. If that's not true friendship, idk what is. But we need to start having security in numbers before it's too late. And with a big cast, we could use it.

P.S. Please let me play in veto this time.

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[Joshuah]

Omg. I ask to play in veto. It happens.

I hope Ethan asks me out

Will it happen? I hope.

Anyways, that was a fun PoV. I was worried about getting a virus, but then I thought "If all the porn I watch doesn't kill my computer, nothing will", then I remembered it killed my laptop. :x

We'll see.

Ian was the only one I struggled with, but I got his in 2 tries, however I don't feel my time was good enough with the time it took to load, me to figure out what was going on, and the time it took to upload. I just know some motherfucker is gonna be like: "Oh that's a nice time, but watch me beat it like Rhianna. LOL you just got Chris Brown'd!" It was fun, though! Maybe peeps will have issues. You know what they say: "if you aren't good enough, wish misery and misfortune on those that are better than you." I'm not sure who "they" are, but they seem like my kind of people.

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[Kat]

You shouldn't get a virus, lol. And lay off the porn

[Joshuah]

So, today's HoH didn't go as planned. Annie immediately lost 2 points, and I only lost one. But then I was the 2nd one to die, and Annie hung in for a while. Kristen shared her number with me (ironically her last number that won her the game). I feel like she trusts me. OR she gave that number to EVERYONE, and everyone knew that if they picked it, they'd cross her. Reverse psychology. Well, played Kristen. Well played. Or maybe she just loves me. It is likely. I'm lovable. And we play Draw Something together. (Maybe she's trying to gain my trust.) I don't care what her evil plan is. It's working. They say impersonating someone is the highest form of flattery-BULLSHIT. I wanna be flattered. I want to be told I'm beautiful (which I am), funny (which I am), and an all around joy to be around (which I am). As long as she keeps stroking my ego I will happily be her little pawn for whatever, if she is indeed a maniacal evil person. If she actually is madly in love with me: BONUS POINTS!

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[Joshuah]

I'm not very happy Kevin won the veto. I wanted to send his ass packing again. But I'm going to have to give Amanda the boot now. This week has been....uneventful. But right now I'm trying to make Cassi fall in love with me, I really liked her, and I'm a little shocked she's up. So yeah, she'll definitely be staying!

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[Joshuah]

So I heard Holly the Whore, or Holly Whore for short, was actively campaigning Week One to get me evicted. I knew I made a bad impression, but really? How bad could I have been for you to literally target me: an active, social, nice person over FLOATERS!? Well congratulations, bitch. Hatred is an illness-and you just got me infected. I'm going after you. Shit talking Week One doesn't get you far in life, you skank! You brought this on yourself.

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[Joshuah]

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?

I WAS ONE MOTHER FUCKING POINT AWAY FROM BEING ELIGIBLE IN THE TIE BREAKER.

I TOLD HIM EXACTLY HOW I WAS VOTING LAST WEEK.

AND MOTHER FUCKING FRANK HAS THE MOTHER FUCKING AUDACITY TO MOTHERFUCKING NOMINATE ME FOR MOTHER FUCKING EVICTION.



OH HELL NO MOTHERFUCKER!

DOES THIS BITCH NOT KNOW WHO HE'S MESSING WITH!?



NOW I GOTTA CAMPAIGN FOR MY FUCKING LIFE.



I STILL HAVE THE CHANCE FOR VETO!



I BET HE'S WORKING WITH HOLLY WHORE AND MOLDY VAJENNA.

I WILL BURN HIM. I WILL BURN THE HEART OUT OF HIM. I AM GOING TO COME OUT OF THIS UNSCATHED. JUST YOU WATCH.



FRANK MADE AN AWFUL DECISION, HE BETTER BE CAREFUL!

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[Joshuah]

In a shocking plot twist, Holly and I aligned.

She came to me asking me if I hated her.

I said not until I found out she targeted me Week One.

She admitted not liking me, but said she never campaigned against me.

I told her that's what Frank said. She said Frank said I hated her.

Frank is trying stuff.

And now he's trying a backdoor?

I'm probably staying on the block, but a lot of people have told em they're keeping me. But who will I survive against? Who's going up?

So Holly, Kristen and I are aligned.

Shane revealed to me his true identity. He knew who I was the whole time, and I knew he was someone in the game, but I didn't know who, and didn't really care. This news is actually more of a burden. He said he has no friends in this game besides me.

BUT HEY! ONE MORE VOTE TO KEEP ME!

It's amazing how much can change in a week. Now, all we have to see is who's going to get backdoored.

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[Joshuah]

Bitch, I ain't a floating pawn. Fuck you, Matt. I know who is and is not sketchy in this house all by myself, thanks. Don't hate me because you ain't me. And being funny is a good social strategy. It makes me liked. Blowing up in front of the house has the opposite effect. He may have thrown me under the bus, but I did a barrel roll, then cartwheeled as I got up to perfectly land on a motorcycle, knocked off the driver, took control, and ran Matt's hobbit ass over. I'm resilient. I'm going to win HoH soon, and I'm going to give you a little shoutout when I do, bitch.

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[Joshuah]

Probably should have written this sooner, but there's Supernatural to watch, Destiel to ship, and fanfiction to write. You know what I'm saying?

So, I stayed!

*Step, step, slut drop, hip dip, rise*

(I don't know what that was, don't judge me.)

I thought it was funny how Matt thanked my two closest allies for saving him and they're both like: "

._.

Bitch, we kept J. Welch. We like him better."

Jenn admitted she evicted me, which I suspected, and we've been making an effort to talk more. I naturally assumed Holly was the other vote, and when an additional person told em she was out to get em Week One, I panicked when she won HoH.

However, she talked to me about nominations, and did exactly what she was saying, but there is still the possibility of renomination. Call it paranoia, but I call not letting anyone too close to hurt you.

I can't play in the veto to guarantee my own safety. It's probably best. I saw the example gif and I kept insisting the letters were in the wrong order. D:

"I'm sorry, but I am just not sorry 'cause I swear and 'cause I drink."

(Shrugs)

I want Cassi to stay, but I do not want to go up.

Prove me wrong, Holly, please. Please don't be a backdooring liar. I have trust issues. Make me trust you.

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[Joshuah]

So, Veto Results were up and I was like "Dayam, Annie, you on a roll." Bitch told me he did badly. I told him if he ever lied to me again, I'm never having sex with him.

I was worried, because I knew Annie was going to veto Cassi, even though it's reckless, and I could have very easily been a renomination.

I was so relieved to see Kevin on the block, and not myself. Even if he doesn't get a lot of numbers, he'll hopefully be the one to keep going up-sheltering the rest of us. I'll try to get Annie and Cassi to evict Kevin. We won't get the numbers to evict him, but the idea will be planted that he is becoming vulnerable, and if anyone is ever in danger they'll survive against him. Muahaha, mother fuckers.

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